Attitude

So I've been thinking a lot recently about my attitude concerning infertility. Yeah, it sucks, but how am I helping by sitting around and feeling sorry for myself?

I feel strongly that my desire to have children is a gift from God. Ever since I was little I loved kids. I'm a teacher for goodness sakes, you can't (or shouldn't) be in that profession without a passion for kids. So I get confused on why I am having such a hard time if this passion is from God. I'm trying to be open to how God can use this experience for his good.

At church on Sunday, our pastor was talking about when things go wrong in our lives and he mentioned that bad things do happen but God can use bad situations to bring glory to his name. So, now my prayer is that I will someday understand how all of this is working towards God's good.

We've been meeting with 6 other couples recently for bible study and we're walking through Romans together. Last night, I was praying for encouragement and affirmation that our situation wasn't hopeless and I read Romans 4 and found these verses (18-21):

Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be." Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead-since he was about a hundred years old-and that Sarah's womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.

I was filled with a new sense of hope and understanding. I understand how Sarah probably felt when disappointment showed again every month, but yet they never waivered in believing that God would be faithful to his promise.